I'm processing a lot of what is going on with me ON PAPER, rather than on screen for now. Just wanted to add this post as a marker of my progress in getting free.
This work in my heart is continuing, even though I've been putting it off and denying where the Lord wants to work. I don't cognitively understand it all. Instead of demanding to know about it all in my mind, I'm choosing to willingly move forward into the UNknown. The Lord has spoken so tenderly to me, giving me His assurance of His presence and help to overcome this stronghold of messiness as I willingly obey His leading. I've been doing this my way for too long and I'm ready to do it His way now.
So I'm moving forward in obedience, taking His hand as He specifically leads me.
Today we spent some time in the living room, basically starting over again because the room is a disaster again. But I'm not at all discouraged. I obeyed His leading to do two specific things:
-What Do I See
-Map out zones for the room and the purpose of each zone
That took about 15 minutes. I feel like a huge weight is lifted! I now know how to move forward tomorrow (as I've set aside a couple hours per day for tidying up and maintaining the clean once and for all).
But this time, it isn't just about cleaning it up...there is more going on as a deeper cleansing is happening in my heart...I can assume that cleansing of my heart will translate into a cleaner house. I'm looking forward to that with much eagerness!
UPDATE: Wednesday August 7-I realize only ONE thing was mine in the mess...ALL of this mess is the kids not putting things away. I realized that I don't ever enter this room, unless we watch a movie together, which happens at least once a weekend in the winter, but not even once a week in the summer. This is interesting...what happens is that the children are not trained properly to put things away and I need to enter this room at least once a day to remind them to put their things away.
