Messy & Clean

We've been married over 20 years...and we "just happened" to have a breakthrough discussion before dinner tonight! I was telling John about my new blog about self-education towards cleaning and keeping the house tidy. We have the same old discussion...I think what needs to happen is a massive purge, get rid of stuff, organize what we have so everything has a place (I call this "ground zero" meaning everything is in its' place). He thinks that is impossible and not the way to solve our problem...then we argue why we think our way is the best way. Nothing changes. Our discussion tonight took a different turn as I listened to him talk about the process of digging out (which we've done many, many, many times in the past) but tonight I LISTENED (because "love listens" or rather "it is loving to listen and not interrupt").

John asked me, "how did you clean your room growing up"? When my room needed to be decluttered (much like the photo above), I moved my furniture around for a fresh look...I put all my junk in a pile, rearranged my bed, desk and dresser and sorted through the pile. A light bulb went on for him..."Michelle, that is exactly what you do with the house. You toss everything in a huge black plastic garbage bag, vacuum and then try to get back to sorting through the bag. That method really hasn't helped move us forward, so I have a suggestion.

He continued, "I think we should start in the kids' rooms, sorting through everything on the floor a section at a time. Let's do that and go from there. I also think we should be putting things away. It is ok for "projects" to be left out (like Sarah playing plushies on the stairway or Daniel doing a puzzle) but at least once a week those things need to be put away, too".

He suggested that we both have strengths in the area of organization but I've never been able to reach escape velocity and have a happy, tidy home. And he wants to help with that so we can move forward and be free from clutter.

We had this conversation over dinner with the children. We really like to discuss options...one of the things we all discussed over dinner was the 4 possible outcomes of a messy house:
-messy and dirty (untidy house and filthy as in dirty, unclean)
-messy and clean
-tidy and dirty
-tidy and clean

As a family we determined that our house is: MESSY AND CLEAN which means there's a ton of junk around, major clutter, but we don't have filth. I was glad we all agreed because that was my pick: messy & clean. So at least we know we only really have one area in which to focus. That in itself is kinda encouraging!

So we continue talking for now. But look what's happened just since I posted! I responded to my conscience telling me to invest in this area as a focus of self-education by starting the blog...and a few hours later we discusssed as a family that we're Messy & Clean and the job of decluttering is actually HALF of what I thought since we're not dealing with Dirty! That's a great start! I look forward to what's next... :)

PHOTOS: sunroom